Taking me back...

Suddenly, I was crying. The tears filled my eyes, making driving difficult. And the more I listened, the harder I cried.

I was on my way to a Worship Design Team Meeting at my church. The team meets weekly, a gathering of artistic, musical, creative people. We meet to plan worship services, write dramas, design artistic comminication for the worship serrvices.

Then the familiar music started to play. Without warning, I was back in the warehouse eight years earlier. I was pushing a heavy metal cart up and down the long isles. I was pulling medical supplies off the shelf, placing them in large plastic tubs, and moving on to the next item on my list. I could smell the cardboard, the dust on the cement, the exhaust from the box truck parked at the bay door. I could feel the cold metal shelving as I reached for another box of syringes to be shipped to the hospital later that night. I could hear the echo of Nick shouting at Danny. I could hear Curtis yelling over the shelves at them both and Darryl cursing above it all just to hear himself curse. But over all this chaos, muffled by the headphones on my ears, I heard the music gently playing.

Like an island of sanity in a sea of madness, that music gave me peace. And then the voice spoke. The voice so smooth and peaceful. I would stop my cart, no matter where I might be, and listen to his words speaking to me, reminding me that there was still culture. There was still civility. There was still hope.

Every night at 7:00 p.m., The Writer's Almanac would play. Garrison Keillor would come to me in the echoing warehouse. He would whisper in my ears about poets, long dead. He would tell interesting stories about the suffering artists, love-lost writers, and laureates who languished alone for years before their one famous prose would set them free. And then he would read a verse in his breathy baritone. His words would enter my brain and somehow reach down and touch my heart and I was no longer in the warehouse. His words moved me. His words transported me. They still do.

The "Warehouse Days", as I like to call them, were a difficult time in my life. I had stepped out of the pulpit after 10 years of successful ministry. I had a Bachelors Degree and a Master's Degree and was considered a rising star in the church. But I left it all, for the sake of my marriage, my kids, and my own sanity. I never questioned the decision. It was the right thing to do and I would do it again. But my sudden change in course, without any real direction, had caused my self-confidence to drop to an all-time low.

And so, in the summer of 2000, I found myself working in a supply warehouse from 4:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m., five days a week and every other weekend. I was the primary care provider for our kids during the day but I rarely saw my wife. She worked days and would be returning home from her job just as I was driving in to mine. We met half way in a parking lot, transferred the kids from my van to her's, talk for 5-10 minutes and then say goodnight.

The warehouse was unlike any other place I'd worked before. Please understand, I've worked in a lot of different places doing a lot of different things. I've castrated pigs and scraped taco grease from catch basins. I've hauled manure and slaughtered chickens. I've ordered cheeses from around the world and helped large women buy nightgowns and crotchless panties. I'm not intimidated by jobs. I'll pull up my sleeves and work with the best of them. In fact, in a matter of months, I was the best worker in the place. For two and a half years, I worked as if my entire career was based on the next order I pulled. It wasn't the work that made it difficult. It was loneliness.

As much as I tried, I just didn't fit in with these men. We lived in different worlds. My world was Bible studies, my kids, and NPR. Their world was bar fights, CPS, and Nascar.

It wasn't that we didn't get along. We were friendly and spent many hours laughing together. Many summer nights, after the work was done and we were ready to go home, we would share a six pack while we leaned on our cars and talked about life. But in the end, they went home to fight with their wives and face collection agencies. And I went to my sleeping family and waited for the next day.

And so, as I drove to my meeting with like-minded creative brothers and sisters, on this night so many years removed from the "Warehouse Days", the music made me cry.

A Little Winter Weather Advice

Dear Austin's Acre,

As winter approaches, I thought you might have some advice for keeping warm.

Signed, Chilly in Columbus.




Dear Chilly,

Your timing is a little off. If you think winter is just approaching, we're in a lot of trouble. In my professional meteorological opinion, winter is here! As you can see from this snapshot of my screen taken only moments ago, it is a little brisk here in Noblesville. Despite the extremely cold temperatures, I am more than happy to share my thoughts on this subject.


1. Attitude is Everything. For instance, if you look again at the current weather conditions, you will find some good news in the numbers. With the incredibly low temperature, we also find a very low humidity level. Currently, the humidity is only 33%. I don't like humidity. It makes my hair curl. In my opinion, it is the first thing to ruin a beautiful summer day. As they say, "In Hell, it isn't so much the heat that gets to you, it is the humidity." Well, if that is true, we must be in heaven! Don't look at it as a dangerously cold morning. Look at it as a fantastically low humidity!


2. Dress in Layers. I usually have several pairs of pants in my closet but right now I have them on me. All of them. Every one. I wear my shirts in successive layers. All of them. Socks are a must. As of this writing, I have 6 pair on my feet. I would have put on another pair but it was too hard to bend over because of all the pants. I usually don't wear a hat in cold weather. It is a bad habit, I know, but it started when I was a boy. In the mornings before school, I would take a bath and leave my hair wet, go out into the subzero temperatures and let my hair freeze. It was really cool. Now I am a grown man and I don't do that any longer. Now I take a shower, let my hair freeze and go to work.

3. Alcohol. Do not drink alcoholic beverages and go outside while it is extremely cold. This will cause the blood to rush to your extremities and will increase the amount of heat you lose through the capillaries close to the surface of your skin. You may feel that warm rush early in your drinking but this will result in a drop of your core body temperature. This, of course, will quickly result in the need to drink more and more alcohol just to keep that warm feeling. At today's prices, you just can't afford it. My advice is to say inside and drink.


4. Turn Up The Heat. The myth of global warming is debunked by the -17 degree morning. If there is global warming it must be happening on some other globe. So I say turn up the heat. I currently have my thermostat set at 82 wonderful degrees. Sure it might be a little warm for some but with a humidity of only 33%, it's like paradise. The obvious question is how I will pay for this little tip when the bill comes. Move on to step #5.


5. Go to the Neighbors. I find that I can save a lot of money by turning down my heat to a ridiculous 55 degrees and go to my neighbors for the evening. Of course, while I'm there in my layers of clothes, with my frozen hair, and my bottle of Boone's Farm Apple Blossom, they feel some obligation to make me some hot coffee. While they are out of the room, I waddle over to their thermostat and adjust it by increments of 10 degrees. One hour and three thermostat adjustments later everyone in the room will be drinkin' from my bottle and enjoying the tropical warmth.

So, Chilly, these are just a few of the steps I take to keep warm on a cold winter morning. I hope they work for you.

P.S. For some added winter fun, bring a mug of water up to boil in the microwave. Take the boiling water to your door, open it and throw the water into the air. It will explode into a cloud of vapor. It's almost better than frozen hair.

My Daughter the Baker

Emily spent just a little time on this cake. Hand mixing the colors, she added food coloring to white frosting and piped it onto the dessert. It is a confectionery marvel.















Anita is surveying her options as the kids wait to dig into the cake.














Many wishes will come true with the successful extinguishing of the candles.

Melony

I work in the same building with this beautiful woman. We often park near one another in the parking garage. I don't know anything about Melony except that she is going to school to get her Bachelor's degree and she loves her car.

My Brush with Fame

You may have run into someone famous. It happened to me just his past holiday season.

While at a prayer meeting, I ran into Brittany Spears. She wouldn't pose for the camera but I snapped this shot when she wasn't looking.

I've tried selling it to the tabloids but I think she's paid them off. No one is buying.

How To Make New Year's Resolutions For Dummies

The dawn of a new year always causes me to spend a few minutes in reflection on my actions in the old year. I suppose it is natural that this leads to some regret. But in the end, it all is about developing a renewed commitment to do better, to be better, to live life better, to make better choices that make a positive impact on myself and those I love.

As I often do, I want to share some of my thoughts, my inner struggles, and my plan to make my life a model of perfection for the coming year. And so, I give to you my 2009 Observations, Confessions, and Resolutions.

In the next few paragraphs, I intend to bare my soul, expose my heart, reveal my inner self. Hold on tight, this could get pretty rocky and I promise it won't be pretty.

OBSERVATION #1: It does not seem possible that this blog has been up and running for more than four years. You have all been lucky because in that time, I've written some interesting articles about life. I've inspire, I prompted, I've motivated. I've made you laugh and I've made you cry. I've made you think. And isn't that what writing should do?

CONFESSION: I've also written some real garbage that has nothing to do with anything, wasting my time and yours.



OBSERVATION #2: In four years, I've posted pictures of exotic locations, dear family friends, and my deeply-loved family. The images that appear on the screen cause you to stop and ponder God's creation, pray for a familiar face, laugh at a moment captured with the flash of a shutter (which is now replaced by some sort of digital mechanism that I really don't understand. I think it is magic). These pictures are Art in its truest form. They have color and space. They have composition. They have texture and movement. They have a deeper meaning that becomes more evident with each viewing (and I invite you to view them as much as you want...they are all on sale in the gift store).

CONFESSION: I've also posted pictures of bathroom floors, late night parties, stupid faces, cats, dogs, chickens, buckets, baseballs, snow, pigeons, and early morning coffee.



OBSERVATION #3: I spend hours working on posts, pictures, sayings, phrases, jokes, insights, poetry, prose, and posture. I awake every morning at 4:30 a.m., make a pot of coffee, and sit down at my computer. I do this...why do I do this? I guess I do this just to make sure I have something to put on this stupid site. I write, I draw, I edit...and for what? What good has this done me after four stinking years? And now I go start this CurtAustin365? Are you kidding me? Am I really so committed to this blog that I'm willing to write a new post each and every day for the next year? What was I thinking?

CONFESSION: I have no life, what-so-ever.



RESOLUTION: I vow to eat more chocolate. I love that stuff.


There. I feel better. I hope this little confession-fest helped you as much as it did me.

Please pass the chocolate and feel free to visit my new site: CurtAustin365.

Thanks and Happy New Year.